The preacher buys a parrot

A preacher is buying a parrot.
“Are you sure it doesn’t scream, yell, or swear?” asked the preacher.
“Oh absolutely. It’s a religious parrot,” the storekeeper assures him.
“Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord’s prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the [...]

The plumber has arrived

A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock; no plumber.
She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived.
He knocked on the door; the lady’s [...]

Never talk to the parrot

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the [...]

A very insulting parrot

This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, “My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam.”
She turns around quickly to see who [...]